The Great Equalizer

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The world is a sad, scary place right now. There’s violence and unrest, there’s divisiveness, there’s fear and ignorance, and there’s great sorrow. My heart aches to watch the news some days. The world seems to be so focused on what makes us different, and thus opposed, than what unites us as a common humanity.

At the cancer center yesterday, though, I couldn’t help looking around and seeing what makes us all the same.

I notice this almost every time I go there for an appointment. I like to think of cancer (or illness, in general) as the great equalizer. It can, and does, happen to anyone.

One glance around the lobby of the center proves this. You see everyone there: male, female, old, young, white, black, Asian, Latino, (or pretty much any other race), thin, heavy, etc. People pull up in sleek luxury SUVs and ratted-out clunkers (and everything in between). That waiting area is truly a cross-section of humanity.

And we’re all sick. Some more so than others, for sure, but at our core, all sick. We’ve all had the breath knocked out of us with getting the diagnosis. We’ve all suddenly faced the grim reality of our own mortality. We’ve all worried about how we’re going to get through this, how the drugs/surgery/radiation will ravage our bodies, how our family/friends/coworkers will handle this upheaval that affects them, too. We’ve all been so very afraid. We’ve all wondered if it’s possible to survive this.

I look at all of us and see we’re all the same. And I’ve started looking at people outside the cancer center that way, too. Sure, every person isn’t going to get cancer. But every human being on this earth is going to face their own death at some point. While, yes, that is incredibly morbid, it’s also a reminder that we’re all such fragile beings, and no matter who we are or what we look like or what we believe, we’re essentially all the same in our fragility. Our lives are so brief, so fleeting, that it is truly baffling that we spend so much of them being angry and hateful. That we waste our precious moments hurting others. That we don’t see the value of a life and realize that it’s a wonderful gift that should be treated with respect.

So, while the lobby of the cancer center is probably one of the most depressing places on the planet, it’s also one that gives me an odd sense of comfort. I feel an unspoken camaraderie with every single person in there. Because we all know. We know this ride is a short one, and it can end at any moment, so we’re going to make the best of every second.

80 thoughts on “The Great Equalizer

  1. Very much agree. There is a Mayan greeting – In Lak’ech Ala K’in – which means basically, I am another you or I am you, you are me. Our oneness may be revealed when we are sick, but it is there all along. Thanks for the post.
    Xo iris

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  3. The Neapolitan poet and actor Toto’ would call cancer ”A livella’ (the level), borrowing his idea from the world of the construction workers. It is true, cancer reminds us that we are all the same, and yet, there is still a sense of shame in talking about it. I hope that more and more people (perhaps also thanks to your post) will start sharing their experience, so that no one will have to live through it alone.

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  6. I hope that that dream comes true one day. I think we all come to that conclusion at some point in our lives, that we are one..but we are mocked politely by the society and we give up on it. We live a watered down version of the self. I am guilty of doing the same..Thank you for the post. 🙂

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  7. Thank you for putting this feeling into words so very well.
    Wish it was possible for people to learn the lessons a tragic experience like this teaches you without having to suffer through it.
    Spent many days and weeks at the Mayo Clinic with my wife. When you walk through those doors there is no more left or right, just people trying to help each other survive.

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  8. Lovely blog. I have had the same thought in my cancer treatment centre, though i am lucky enough to have asymptomatic myeloma, so not suffering with symptoms at the moment. Strength and love to you, Mike

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  10. I really enjoyed this. If you get a chance my first blog post “Dear Cancer, Thank you” is on my page. We share similar thoughts to sickness as an equalizer, as proof that not one human being is more important than the other.

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  11. I totally agree! I had a stroke a few weeks ago and I met some people who had nearly the same. It was a beautiful experience to see that we’re all different, but in some cases exactly the same!

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  12. Jennifer, my heart goes out to you! It makes me sad to think that while I wake everyday alive and kicking, there are those fighting for their lives, chasing after time, or maybe catching on their last breath.

    I couldn’t agree more. The brevity of life is a reminder for us to make the most of each moment of our lives. Thank you for these heartfelt words and take care!

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  13. Bringing something good out of a bad situation is one of the best qualities some have in them. I wish for your speedy recovery and for a long and happy life.

    I’ve seen cancer spreading in my family genes from generations. It’s a rough walk of life.

    I’m glad you have the kind approach towards all. Hope to see many of kind-hearted souls like you existing in this world of chaos.

    –lazyobzy

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  14. This was beautifully written and expressed. This taught me that life is too short to be wasted. Great blog!

    I really admire your blog. I’m a newbie in WordPress and I would love to accept an advice from you, base from your experience in WordPress.

    Thank you and God Bless!

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